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Gil's Comedy Script of the Month

3 Scripts for February 2001!

TEMPTATION ISLAND

RAW DEAL

AL GORE AT COLUMBIA - HIDDEN MICROPHONE

by Gil Christner


TEMPTATION ISLAND
ANNC
This week on Fox TV, it's the hottest Temptation Island ever, when a special guest shows up to turn up the heat!
BILLY
Hey, Andy, I'm really worried about that new guy on the island!
ANDY
I know what you mean, Billy. He can't keep his hands off of any of the women, including our girlfriends!
BILLY
Oh no, here comes that slime ball now.
(SFX: GIRLS GIGGLING)
CLINTON
Hi y'all! You want to come down to the jacuzzi with me and Lola and Heather? I'm going to feel their pain, if you know what I mean!
GIRLS
Giggle, Oh Mr. President!
CLINTON
No, sugar, I'm a private citizen now, with lots of time on my hands. Come on, I'll teach you a neat cigar trick!
ANDY
Man! Nobody's safe now that he's out of a job!
ANNC
That's this week, on Temptation Island!
RAW DEAL
(TO THE TUNE OF RAWHIDE)
SINGERS
Rolling rolling rolling, Rolling rolling rolling.
FRANKIE LANE
Those Blackouts keep on rolling
California gets a
Raw Deal!!
Where ever your location
That deregulation
Is gonna turn your lights out for real
Electric Bills are soaring
But congress keeps on snoring
They don't care how the people feel.
Turn it on, turn it off,
Power up, power down
Turn it on, turn it off, Raw Deal!
Money In, Money Out,
In the Dark, It's a Rout
What is it all about?
Raw Deal!

AL GORE AT COLUMBIA -
HIDDEN MICROPHONE

DJ
Well, in case you don't know, Al Gore is teaching a course at Columbia University in Electronic Journalism! And guess what, we had a hidden microphone in the class room on his first day, so let's listen to how it went!
(SFX: CLASS ROOM MURMURING)
GORE
All right class, let's settle down. Hello, I am your teacher, Al Gore. It's great to be here at the Columbia University. Before we begin, I have to read this disclaimer. Ahem. "Columbia University is not affiliated with the Columbia School of Broadcasting, or the Columbia House Buy 10 CD's get One Free program." Ok, let's begin. Today's electronic journalism takes many different forms. Television, radio, and even the internet. Now, who can tell me, who invented the internet? Yes, you in the front row.
STUDENT
Uh, you did??
GORE
Very very good! You get an A!
STUDENT
Wow! Thanks!
GORE
Now, there are some ethics involved in journalism, that must be strictly adhered to. For instance, the idea of always getting a second source for your material. Who can tell me, who invented the idea of a second source? Yes, you there.
STUDENT 2
Uh…you did, Mr. Gore?
GORE
Very good! You get an A!
STUDENT 2
Kewl!
GORE
All right, now let's diagram the power structure of today's media conglomerates on the black board. Yes, do you have a question?
STUDENT 3
Yeah, Mr. Gore…didn't you invent the black board?
GORE
Why, yes I did, that's very astute of you, you get an A. Now, where's the chalk?
STUDENT 4
Hey, why don't you invent some?
(SFX: CLASS LAUGHS, fade out)

Copyright (c) 1999. All rights reserved.
Reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium
without express written permission of Premiere Radio Networks is prohibited

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